Often we are confronted with difficult conversations we need to have with our boss or our team members. Before diving into them, make sure you have answered the following question: “What do I really want?”.
This is question is at the heart of the work being doing by the Vital Smarts team through their Crucial Conversations work. I once avoided difficult conversations, but after reading their books, I am much more comfortable.
In a recent exchange with a field VP I supported, I was push to the point of needing to have a crucial conversation about how he was treating my team. My initial reaction was to be confrontational and accusatory. But, having read the Crucial Conversations book, I backed off and asked myself what I really wanted.
When I answered this question and the follow on, what do I want from this relationship, I was able to redirect my energy into getting mutual respect for the team and setting up regular conversations with the VP. It worked and when the company was looking to lay people off, this VP became one of our advocates, and not detractors.
Before diving into your next important conversation, I encourage you to ask yourself, “What do I really want?”. You will be amazed at the results.
To learn more about managing team, check out www.vitalsmarts.com
Tags: approaching difficult conversations, crucial conversations, difficult conversations, managing teams
